At Making Meaning Counselling & Mediation, we deal with these realities, using the “mediation” method of conflict resolution. We help clients find ways to shift from rigid positions and engage in sensible and productive negotiations.

Our service, we believe, is both cost-effective and time-efficient. More than that, it allows you to maintain integrity as you work towards mutually-agreed solutions - solutions that enable you to get on with your life, free from the pressures and emotional turmoil that result from unresolved issues.

The most savage controversies are about those matters
as to which there is no good evidence either way.
~ Bertrand Russell

The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
~ Elridge Cleaver

• What is “mediation”?
• Do the persons in dispute meet with mediator separately?
• What happens if the mediator decides that mediation is appropriate?
• What happens if the mediator decides that mediation is not appropriate?
• What does the mediation process involve?
• What are some of the other usual features of mediation?
• What are some benefits of mediation?
• What kinds of disputes are suitable for mediation?
• Is mediation appropriate where one person is scared of the other person?
• What are the differences between Counselling & Mediation?
• I am interested in mediation. What do I need to do?

Mediation is a decision-making process in which:

• a third party – the mediator - assists persons who are in dispute or have a problem they cannot resolve themselves
• the mediator attempts to improve the process of decision-making, and
• assists the persons in dispute reach a negotiated outcome acceptable to each of them
  

• The mediator usually sees each participant separately to explain the process and assess if each person is ‘ready, willing and able’ to attend a joint session with the other person(s) involved in the dispute
• The mediator answers questions that each participant might have
  

• A joint session can be arranged, when the participants meet with the mediator
• The mediator and the participants may sign an agreement setting out the procedures for the mediation, and other matters such as the mediator’s fees
  

What happens if the mediator decides that mediation is not appropriate?

• The mediator informs the participants to this effect
• In some cases, the mediator might recommend some preparatory work, such as individual counselling, to allow a person to deal with any difficult issues which may inhibit or prevent the person from negotiating effectively with the other person
• In other cases, mediation may be the way to go but the timing may not be right. For example, a person may need to get legal advice or other information before they are able to negotiate properly
  

The mediator (often with the use of a white board) helps the participants:

• list the issues that are in dispute
• establish which issues have priority
• speak about their particular needs
• listen to each other in a respectful way
• develop options for further discussion
• consider which options may work and which can be discarded
• explore in detail the effects of accepting possible options, including the effects
  on others (such as children)
• reach a mutual agreement that will accommodate the needs of both
  participants
  

• mediation is freely chosen by the participants as a means to resolve their dispute
• they are comfortable with the choice of the mediator
• the mediator will be both neutral and impartial
• the mediator will not give legal or other professional advice to the participants
• the mediator will not impose a solution but may help generate options
• the participants will be properly aware of their legal rights and adequately prepared for the mediation
• the mediation process is confidential (to the extent the law allows)
• involvement in the process is voluntary and may be terminated by a participant (or by the mediator) at any time
• a signed agreement reached at mediation is normally binding unless it needs approval from a Court or is made subject to certain conditions being met (such as endorsement from the participants’ legal advisers)
  

What are some benefits of mediation?

• It provides direction (through the mediator) and a stage-by-stage process towards mutual agreement
• It allows time for participants to bring out issues of concern and discuss options directly with one another
• It focuses participants upon listening to each other’s viewpoints
• It enables participants to express their feelings and their views in a non-threatening atmosphere, in confidence and without weakening their respective positions
• In most instances it is considerably cheaper than other options such as litigation or arbitration – and less demanding in terms of time and emotional energy
• It focuses upon prospects for the future rather than the perceived injustices of the past
• It encourages cooperative problem-solving between participants rather than resorting to old patterns of argument or avoidance
• It provides a safe and positive environment in which problems can be discussed
• Because of the focus upon mutual agreement, mediation is “win-win”
• The participants control the outcome, not a Court or someone else outside the mediation

Mediation can be used in many situations, including:

• Where separated couples need assistance in resolving how to divide their property, or how time with their children should be shared, and other points of disagreement in the bringing up of their children
• Where work colleagues have issues with each other or with their employer
• Where family members are in dispute over money or personal issues
• Where neighbours have a falling out over such things as overhanging trees or noise
• Where business partners are unable to resolve problems with each other
• Where individuals feel badly treated by government agencies
• Where community groups have internal problems or issues with individuals or other organisations

One of the most important issues in mediation involves an actual or potential imbalance of power between the participants. As mediation is consensual and not coercive – i.e. the parties themselves decide the outcome and not a third party or court – there is a danger the outcome may simply reflect the power relationship between the parties themselves (in which case all notions of fairness and equal bargaining go out the window).

It is essential for mediators recognise situations where a power imbalance may exist – and then decide whether mediation is appropriate or not.

Mediation is not appropriate where:

• The mediator’s professional judgment indicates safety may well be compromised
• The imbalance of power is too great for a mediator to redress
• The conduct and attitude of either participant suggests intimidation will occur, notwithstanding what the party says or promises
• A Restraining Order is in place and does not contain a provision allowing the parties to come together for mediation
• Truly consensual decision-making is unlikely
• Mediation could well make the situation worse
  

A counsellor generally uses therapeutic techniques. Some – such as a particular line of questioning – may be useful in mediation. But the role of the counsellor differs from the role of the mediator. The list below is not exhaustive but it gives an indication of important distinctions between the work of mediators and counsellors.

• A mediator aims to for clear agreement between the participants as to how they will deal with specific issues. A counsellor is more concerned with the parties gaining a better self-understanding of their individual behaviour
• A mediator, while acknowledging a person’s feelings, does not explore them in any depth. A counsellor is fundamentally concerned about how people feel about a range of relevant experiences
• A mediator is focused upon how people would like to see things in the future rather than a detailed analysis of past events. A counsellor may find it necessary to explore a person’s past in detail to bring out into the open the origins and the patterns of a person’s beliefs and behaviour
• A mediator controls the process but does not overtly try to influence the participants or the actual outcome. A counsellor often takes an intentional role in the process, seeking to influence the parties to move in a particular direction or look at certain issues
• A mediator relies on both parties being present so they can negotiate, usually face-to-face. A counsellor does not necessarily see both parties at the same time.
• A mediator is required to be neutral. A counsellor may play a more supportive role, where appropriate.
• Mediation requires both parties to be willing to negotiate. Counselling may work with one party even if the other is not ready or willing for change.
• Mediation is a structured process that is usually restricted to one or a few sessions. Counselling tends to be more ongoing, depending upon a person’s needs and progress.

Overall, a counselling background can be a big plus when it comes to mediation. Counsellor-mediators can use their knowledge and expertise to promote a sense of self-empowerment and also encourage participants to find ways to move on in their lives. Furthermore, a counsellor-mediator will be in tune with a person’s emotional needs and in a position to determine whether the present circumstances warrant counselling rather than mediation.

You can telephone us on 0448 194 602 for a free initial consultation. If you are in contact with the other person involved in the dispute, you can suggest to them that they also contact us. Alternatively, your lawyer, or a third party can convey that suggestion.

If both you and the other person are both willing to proceed, we will schedule “pre-mediation” appointments with each of you separately.